I know I am still “young” whatever that is. But that is for another post on another day. I wanted to write a post about the month of October and the “Scary” of the world. I have noticed more and more the scary movies, secret clubs, double lives, drug scene, and many more other things have all become about the pain. It’s all about how gross we can be, how dark we can get, what we can get away with, and what we can get others to do without even knowing it.
I grew up not able to see scary movies till I was in middle school or later. I made a choice that I didn’t like that rule and so whenever I went to my friends house I watched all the scary movies and T.V. shows that I wasn’t allowed to. Boy, I thought I was so slick and that I had pulled a fast one on my parents. I thought I was just “keeping up with the Jone’s” as you older folk say. I developed a endless need for the dark. I went to church and said I was a christian. Truly, I was anything but a Christian. I spent my hour on Sunday in church not understanding a thing said or done. As soon as I was done it was all about me and being of the world. I became overly obsessed with Vampire’s, goth, darkness in the true sense, and evil. I was convinced of what I watched and what I spent my time sneaking around doing. As I got older I was allowed to watch what I wanted for the most part. So naturally I had all the Blade movies. I constantly yearned for more vampire movies and wanted to do the whole goth thing. As I became an adult I tried my best to find people who could help me get my goth identity. I knew my family, friends, religion, and the world looked down on goth so it had to be secret. I would plan what special effects contacts I was going to get. I had the big black leather buckle strap boots picked out with the tight black shirt and the black make-up…the whole sha-bang.
Then God touched me. I started to see the truth of the things I wanted and the feelings I had. My dad would try to talk to me, but he’s dad he “always” has a correction or “always” goes against you…right? Wrong! He was right and not because he was dad, but because he loves me and knew where I was headed was bad. He was trying to stop me or at least help a little before it was to late. As I said God touched me. I started to see that I was of the world. I wasn’t just living in it…no, I was of it. I saw things like we are now on “Saw5″ or “The true story of blah blah blah”. Movies about brutal killings that really happened. T.V. series about sex is just like eating breakfast…you just have to do it. I started to see all the truth of what I was consuming myself with.
So, why am I writing this post that is soooo long. I want to say how sad it is that we “Christians” allow ourselves to be lead by the nose like a dumb cow. We let our kids watch the worst shows and do whatever they want. We laugh at people getting hurt…oh but it’s in the name of comedy right? Not really! We let our 5 year old girls dress up as slutty princesses or hookers. We encourage our sons to be aggressive and be Pimps for Halloween or a monster or a dead thing. Then we wonder why little Jimmy has anger issues or why he never does what he is told. Why don’t we as Christians who want to be part of the “Trick-or-Treat” frenzy have our kids dress up as good things? Why not say “You can dress up for Halloween..” “You can dress up for All Saints Day…” “As long as you dress up as a Saint, Biblical person, Archangel, or another type of holy angel…no fallen or dark angels”? Why not say no, you cannot eat all the candy you got? We let our kids, our families, our friends, and more importantly ourselves be flooded with and seek the Anti-God things. We consume the dark, the evil, the me me me, and the it’s ok it’s just a little evil all day every day. Then we wonder why do I feel like life sucks, why is my family off the hook , why doesn’t anything work?
I am going to be a parent in around January. I can only hope and pray sincerely and heart felt that I do not do this to my kid, to my family, or continue to do it to my self. I hope, pray, beg, and plead, that God converts me so that I do not allow this in my family or my life. I know that I follow Christ and therefore am a Christian…but in the true sense of the word Christian I am not Christian. I follow God when it’s convenient for me…but if I am honest and truly look at my life I don’t follow him. I don’t love the other as Christ did or as I love my self. I don’t pray first thing in the morning…I don’t pray much at all. However, I am slowly on my way…slowly on a path to put God first and me last. I pray…yes pray…here, now…that God touches my heart to be the man I need to be, the Husband I am called to be, and the Father I am called to be. That God converts my heart of stone to a heart of flesh and changes me and my ways because I cannot. If you read this far thanks for your time and God Bless. Hope I sparked a thought or at least an idea.
Tags: Add new tag, father, God, pray
